Tony’s Incoherent Rants: Vol. 1
If you are reading this, I would first like to thank you for taking interest in the things that anger me! Secondly, I would like to point out that I have you. Even now I am stealing your time, second by precious second. You are mine, you hear me?! Mi…oops. Sorry. My inner narcissist got loose. Anyway, today’s rant is about something that happened to me in school. Or, since I’m home schooled, in my mom’s office if you want to get all technical. As you may know, I am now a senior in high school. As a part of my studies, I am required to read a book on classical music. Herein lies the problem: Why does everyone who writes about classical music come across sounding like an elitist? Don’t get me wrong, I like Vivaldi as much as any other American teen…do you see the irony in that statement? How many American teens know who Vivaldi is? Or, better yet, how many actually give a rat’s hindquarters? Which leads into my main question: Is classical music REALLY that relevant in today’s society? Francis A. Schaeffer, founder of L’Abri community certainly thought so. “Incidentally an ignorance of classical music separates Christians from people with whom they might wish to speak, and this is a hindrance in communication with them.” Just to cover all my bases, let me say that while I respect Dr. Schaeffer (Honorary Doctor of laws, Simon Greenleaf School of Law, Anaheim, California) I seriously doubt that the common man (or woman, if you prefer) will find themselves in a situation where their lack of knowledge or even interest in classical music will ostracize them from a segment of society. So, once again, I ask: Is classical music really so relevant in today’s society? Will you go into a local bar and find a group of intellectuals sitting around, smoking pipes and sipping champagne while discussing the intricacies of the latest composing genius? NO! You will walk in and find a bunch of meat-heads listening to Skynyrd, while swearing and throwing back one beer at a time, while making lewd comments about any female within a 50 foot radius. When you are stuck in a traffic jam, will you hear Tchaikovsky being blared out of a set of subwoofers the size of small children? When your neighbors are having a pool party, will you call the cops on them because they are playing “Four Seasons” too loudly? Have you pre-ordered your copy of Piano Hero: Beethoven? The bottom line is this: classical music has been largely reduced to the background noise in the elevator or grocery store. You know, the stuff you can’t hear because the lady down the isle won’t do anything to stem the constant flow of unearthly screeching her hellion child is making, or the stuff the guy in the elevator who’s been on his phone for 3 hours shouts over while trying to select his floor and rummage through his briefcase at the same time.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s absolutely ridiculous for anyone to scoff at forms of music they don’t care for, and claim superiority for their genre. It’s stupid, it’s a sure sign of a closed mind, it’s arrogant, and it makes you an elitist prick. Why are we so afraid of expanding our horizons? While it’s not much, I did listen to Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons” today. I kinda liked it. The guy had talent. I wouldn’t even consider saying that Mettalica was a better artist. They are two totaly different styles! (How’s that for an understatement?) Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. So go get a life and ditch the smock…stupid wine-o’s….oh, and all you Ozzy Osbourne fanboys that boo people off stages…go back to your mom’s basement….and take a shower!!! Oh, and all you rabid Hannah Montana fans…I don’t know what to say to you….just…why?!
P.S. I did prefer “Enter Sandman” over “Four Seasons.” (Shocking, isn’t it? *cough*)
